Now I'm Topless!

It's about 7:30 am on a Thursday morning and I'm on my way to Long Beach, California for a car shoot at Southbay Studios. I'm about a mile from the my exit on the 710 freeway and about 30 seconds past my last sip of tasty "go-juice" (coffee) cruising in the second lane from the left. All of a sudden, theres a loud crunch and my car bounces up and jerks left and the next thing I see is the concrete median coming towards me at about 60 mph! Some jackass has just swerved into me. And, judging by the way my car hopped when he hit me, he swerved pretty hard.

Well, as you've probably figured out by now, I didn't hit the fast approaching median. Instead me and the guy who hit me, we'll call him "El Senior", were both able to avoid any further collisions and quickly make our way to the shoulder without incident. It's a good thing too, because I don't think I'd be writing this right now if I'd hit that concrete divider, or if another car had come up on my left when my car jumped into the fast lane. Fortunately, both "El Senior" and I walked away from our little fender-bender without a scratch. Our rides, however, did not fare so well. I believe "El Senior's" Land Cruiser had a broken axle and some minor damage to the front driver's side fender and bumper. As for my old Rodeo, she was jacked up like so...

My baby's mangled fender. Nowadays when she turns left, the inner cover of the wheel well rubs the tire and makes a beautiful music for anyone within earshot to enjoy. Good times, no?

"El Senior's" handiwork on the running board and front fender.

Thanks to the damage at the lower back end of the fender, any passengers must now enter my truck "Dukes of Hazard" style. Fun for the whole family!

As you can probably see from the photos, my truck has seen better days. So, when my insurance company told me that they'd like to total my car because it was worth less than the cost of fixing it, I reluctantly agreed.

Once I accepted the reality that it was finally time to get a new car, I went online to do a little research. What I found, was that there were actually companies out there crazy enough to lend me money... and lots of it! Ha ha ha, the fools!

Well, after pricing a few Jags, a Viper, and looking into a new '08 Ferarri, I decided that none of these cars were good enough to meet my rigorous standards. Finally, I found my perfect fit: A 2008 Jeep Wrangler Unlimited 4x4. Topless, fun to play with in sand, mud, or snow; what more could a guy ask for? And she's a real looker too!

Compared to my beaten, old Rodeo she is anyway.

So, I'm now the proud owner of a another planet killing, gas guzzling SUV. But this one's a Jeep, so it's okay!

I don't know who this cheeseball thinks he is, but if he doesn't stop groping my new Jeep, I'll be forced to slap him repeatedly about the head and face until he lets go.

I'd like to thank: my mom, for her love and support over the years; my little sisters, for being such complete goofballs that I can't help but giggle like a teenage school girl everytime I see them; my wonderful nephews, for being too young to understand what the hell I'm talking about; and a very special thanks to "El Senior", without whom, my dream of owning a convertable planet killing SUV wouldn't have been possible. Thanks "El Senior", I'll be sure to drive topless in your honor from now on!

P.S. more pics of the new Jeep and thoughts on the SUV planet killer topic in the next post.